Girl sitting in front of the window and hugging her legs

The safest way to get rid of repressed anger for good girls

How often have you felt anger, but couldn’t get it out, because you might lose your good girl status? How often have you felt ashamed because of your own emotions? How often your friends and family put you to the blush because of the angry outbursts of yours and blamed it on your PMS, hormones or just a weak character? As women, we’re constantly told that showing any emotion other than happiness or joy is wrong. We’re told to hide our emotions at all costs to avoid being perceived as “weak” or “emotional.”

But is that really a healthy life strategy? Is it healthy to hold all our emotions and repress them instead of releasing them in a safe and controlled environment? Aren’t we ultimately damaging ourselves by holding in all that anger and sadness?

The truth is, suppressing our emotions doesn’t make us “better” people; instead, it only makes us more toxic on the inside. The more we push down the negative emotions inside of us, the more resentment and pain builds up inside of our souls until something eventually gives out. This is usually followed by a destructive emotional outburst that is completely beyond our control and causes more damage than intended.

Anger is an emotion that’s natural and understandable, but it can be hard to express when you’re worried about what someone might think of you if you unleash it. But you’re not alone – many of us carry around a lot of suppressed anger that we’re not comfortable with expressing openly.

Girl sitting on the stool in front of the window and hugging her legs

It’s time to let go of that fear and learn how to safely get rid of repressed anger. Suppressed anger can cause all kinds of negative side effects including depression, anxiety, stress and low self-esteem. It can cause different illnesses and organs dysfunctions, because when we resist and hold back on feeling our anger, the frustration and pain builds within our bodies and negatively affects every organ of our body. The good news is there are a lot of safe ways to release your repressed anger that won’t cause any harm to you or anyone else around you. Today I will show you one of the most effective and simple ways to do that. And the great news is that it is free and does not require any special skills or knowledge to do!

To relieve yourself of built up stress caused by repressed anger, try this technique:

Grab a pen and paper, sit down comfortable and write down everything that you feel angry about. Start each sentence with the words: ‘I am angry at … , because …’ and then write down the things that you are angry with. You don’t have to write something specific, just write whatever you feel in your heart about that person or situation. Try to not censor yourself and vent your feelings without judgement or criticism towards yourself or others.

As good girls, we were taught to repress anger, rage and disapproval starting at a young age. That’s why our family contributed to this huge storage most of all. Even if we are not aware of it, the main characters we are angry about, are our parents. If we’ve been told to be quiet when we are angry, to suppress those negative emotions and not make them visible, we end up with all this hidden rage that we even might not be aware of. I recommend you to start with your mom, then your dad, next your sister and so on. Even if you feel grateful to them and think that you don’t have what to write, do it anyways. You would probably be surprised about how much resentment you actually have towards your parents and all the mistakes they made. Of course it is ok to make mistakes. We are all humans after all. But you might also be angry at them for how they treated you when they did make mistakes and how they are still treating you today. Even if they are not alive anymore, or you have not known them, they might still be influencing your life decisions and how you feel about yourself in the present time. Our parents are inside us, from a biological and psychological point of view. Write down your anger at each parent for several days. But it is important to not send them this piece of paper. You are doing it for yourself, for your own mental and physical health. And hurting their feelings is not going to improve relationships with them.

If you feel a resistance to start with your parents, you may be more comfortable to address it to yourself. Start each sentence like this: ‘I am angry at myself, because…’. Write down all that come to your mind, even if it feels unimportant, for your unconscious mind, for your inner child these feelings are real and valid and will have a major impact on your state of mind and release this tension you have inside. This is a very simple, but powerful exercise and it will connect you with your emotions in a very profound way.

Write down as many sentences as you want, until you feel that you don’t have what to express more now. After expressing anger toward your parents, yourself, your siblings and other important figures from your childhood, you may include other people that have hurt your feelings. Do it as your daily routine, for several days, until you will feel that there is no more anger inside you. You will feel lighter and more peaceful and relaxed.

We need to release that anger and that negative energy, in order to make space for happiness and love in our lives. Then we start to live our lives from a place of peace, harmony and joy, which is the best way to build healthy relationships with the people around us and be happy with ourselves too.