Happy woman standing with her arms up behind the head and a clear blue in the background

How to free yourself from anger without ruining your life

Anger is a natural emotion that can be beneficial in some cases. It is a self defense mechanism that helps us survive in dangerous and difficult situations. However, anger can also be destructive if not managed correctly. Here are some tips on how to free yourself from anger without ruining your life:

1. Take a deep breath and count to ten: this can help you to calm down if you are angry

When you are feeling angry, it is very important to take a step back and think about the situation rationally. Taking a breath and counting to ten can help you to do this. It can also help you gather your thoughts so that you can think about how you want to respond or react to the situation in a more beneficial way for each person involved.

When breathing deeply it is also helping your body to re-oxygenate itself so that you can carry on with your day with a clear mind. It is a very calming and beneficial tool that is always with you. So next time you are feeling angry, take a few deep breaths while counting to ten!

2. Try to identify the triggers for your anger: this can be important if you want to reduce your anger in the future

Having an anger management problem can be challenging. It can also have a detrimental effect on your relationships and your wellbeing in general. This is why it is important to identify what causes you to become angry in the first place.

Happy woman on a sandy beach standing with her arms up behind the head and a clear blue in the background

Your environment, the people around you and the way you respond to situations can all be triggers for anger. Identifying these triggers will help you to learn how to better manage your anger and to help you to keep it under control in the future.

In order to identify your triggers, write down a list of what make you angry. What, whom are you angry with and why? Then think about your responses and how you can change the way you deal with them in order to reduce your feelings of anger in the future.

For example, if your friends are constantly asking you to do things that you have no interest in doing, consider telling them that you have other plans and would prefer to spend time with them another day.

Remember, if you can not change something, you can always shift the perspective you are looking at it. Change your attitude about what triggers you and this action will eventually help you to deal with your feelings of anger in a more positive way.

3. Use relaxation techniques to deal with your anger: this could include mindfulness, meditation or yoga.

When you are furious about something, your body enters a “fight or flight” response which prepares you to either fight the person who made you angry or run away from the situation to protect yourself. Both reactions imply a huge amount of stress and tension in the body which over time can lead to health problems such as high blood pressure, heart problems and headaches.

These conditions can leave you feeling exhausted which can make you feel even more stressed and angry about your situation. By learning to relax, you can reduce the stress level in your body and improve both your mental and physical health.

There are many ways to relax such as taking up a yoga class, meditating or even listening to soothing music. Try new things and choose whatever works best for you. Making time to relax will help to ease your mind and reduce feelings of anger and stress.

4. Seek help from a professional counselor, life coach, hypnotherapist or NLP practitioner if you need additional support

It can be easier to deal with your rage if you have a professional to talk to about it. It is easier to work on it when you have someone who supports you. We are all humans and we need connections with other people. We need to have someone there for us.

A counselor can help you to explore your feelings and identify the underlying causes of your anger. They can also help you to learn healthy ways of dealing with it, instead of lashing out at other people or engaging in self-destructive behavior such as drinking too much alcohol or taking drugs. Anger management counseling can help to provide you with strategies and techniques for dealing with your feelings in a healthier way.

5. Learn to forgive

This could be difficult if you have experienced a lot of hurt in your life, but learning to forgive can help to reduce your anger and anxiety in the long term. The most important thing to keep in mind when you walk on the pathway of forgiveness is that we are all humans and we all make mistakes from time to time.

But deep down, we all have pure hearts that want to love and be loved. So it is important to forgive yourself first for the mistakes you have made in the past and to move on with your life. We only have the present moment, that dictates how our future will look like.

6. Write in the moment or right after a burst of anger

When you experience an outburst of anger it is crucial not only to calm down and to be able to control your actions, but also to not bottle it up inside and let the emotions build up over time. Th easiest way to let your feelings go is to write them down on paper. This helps to express yourself and also to get some clarity on the situation and what you are feeling so that you can move forward from this experience.

So, when you feel angry, or right after that experience, take your time and write down all that you feel at the moment in an uncensored fashion. You may start like this: I feel angry about/because/when… Then keep going from there and continue to go deeper until you can put into words what is really bothering you and why you feel the way you do.

Let your thoughts flow and do not stop writing until you have expressed everything that was on your mind at that moment. Breath deeply and let your mind and body heal during this process.

Once you’ve finished writing, try to think of some solutions that will help alleviate your anger and prevent further outbursts in the future. Also, do not feel guilty about feeling angry or frustrated, it is a perfectly normal and natural emotion to feel these feelings sometimes.

Everything is there for a reason. And even if you don’t understand the reason behind your emotions, just breathe through it and allow time to heal you so you can move on from this.

7. Do physical activities

Working out is a great way to relieve tension and frustration as well as to promote relaxation and the release of feel-good endorphins. Exercise helps to boost self-esteem and reduces stress, which can help you to better deal with difficult situations and manage your emotions more effectively.

When you feel overwhelmed by the emotions that are causing you stress, take some time out of your day to do some light exercise such as yoga, running, hiking, biking, etc. You may just go for a walk and you will feel a quick relief and shift of your mood.

You may also go to a gym and do some exercises on the machines if you are pressed for time. The most important thing is to take some time to focus on yourself and do something that you find enjoyable and fun so that you can clear your mind of the things that may be stressing you out.

When we move, we tend to get out of a feeling of being stuck in an anger trap. For example, if you feel like smashing something into tiny pieces, then see if you can run around the block a few times instead. Action is empowering – it helps us to let our frustrations out and to create a way for positive change to occur in our lives.

8. Screaming in a pillow

Another effective way to release anger from your system without having to physically damage anything is to do it by screaming into a pillow. This releases pent-up emotions and helps you to get a sense of control over a situation that you may be overwhelmed by. It can also help to relieve symptoms of anxiety and depression, which is another common cause of anger issues.

Allowing yourself to let it all out in this manner can also have a positive physical impact by reducing your blood pressure and cortisol levels in your body. Screaming in a pillow may also help you to decrease tension in your throat.

Bottom line

These 8 techniques should help you to regain a sense of control over your anger and to help you to deal with stressful situation in a more productive way. By applying them on a regular basis, you will be less likely to feel angry or stressed when you are faced with a difficult situation and you will be able to better manage your emotions effectively in the future.

If you would like to obtain even better results at dealing with your rage problem, you may want to do an anger decluttering which I’ve described in my article about how to release repressed anger.

And the most effective thing to do with your negative emotions is to understand what resources lie underneath that specific feeling. Ask yourself, what is on the flip side of the coin named anger?